Mandelbrot.
If you eat a Montreal smoked meat sandwich before bed this is what happens.
You dream about being at a party trying to roll a joint which keeps falling apart in your clumsy hands and then you decide to leave and ask this old nice Jewish fella and his wife and sister if they want a ride home, they say sure, and off you go, it is really late or really early depending on your point of view, they sky is just thinking about turning from dark blue to a lighter shade anticipating sunrise, on the way the man asks you if you wouldn't stop in at the Open Window Bakery, you say sure, next thing you know you are in this beehive of bakery, women in blue smocks and hairnets are rushing about everywhere with fresh baked breads and cakes and danishes, then it begins....
You follow Saul around and he is giving a Yiddish culinary tour par excellence, "Do you know vat this is?"
"No."
"That's mandelbrot, almondbread, it's like a biscotti but ohhh, not dry at all, but it's not soft neithuh, it's somewhere in between, it's heaven, and this?"
"No."
"Look at those loaves! Schweinbrot, pigbread, not because pigs eat them, no, because they are so plump and round, look at how round they are, pick one up, they're huge, schweinbrot, ironic I know. And this?"
"That's plum cake, and those are bagels."
"And if you toast them, ohhhh, the edges go crisp and the sesame fills your nostrils and the butter melts. Of course you could always go over there and do it right with the cream cheese and lox, oh the cream cheese, so rich, so smooth, like a cloud between the salmon and the bagel, and the lox just meltsaway , literally melts away in your mouth. And here, this is cheescake like I had when I was a kid, look at that! It's not so creamy like the cheescakes nowadays, it halfway to bread, that's why it's so high, and what do want on it? Sour cherries? Strawberries? Blueberries? Raspberries? You name it, kid! How about a bag of pretzels, look at the rock salt sticking to them, yes, they're soft, get a jar of mustard to dip them in, trust me, and the mustard will come in handy when we go down aisle six - the Deli, you ain't seen nothin yet!"
And on and on, Saul guided me through this magical bakery. In my dream I ended up spending two hundred dollars in this bakery, even after having left behind half of the things I had originally picked up, as I wandered around, dizzy and warm, breathing in the smell of fresh baked breads. And I'm not even Jewish.
Mazeltov!!